I've got a few hours before I'm forever locked out of my NPR computer. The powers that be prematurely pulled the plug on me this weekend (even after HR directed me to fill out my timesheet today) but AFTRA reps were quick to straighten things out.
I need the extra time -- both for the last F:drive back-up and the final loving keystrokes on a loyal and companionable machine. Of course we all know there's way more at stake here than simply losing a Toughbook (a young guy magnet if ever there was one, sigh), but it's the closest thing to a "Am I hip or what" briefcase I'm ever likely to have.
(Oh, the places we've traveled together! Hawaii, the Amazon,the autumnal golds of Vermont!)
No, the loss goes deeper. I could always buy the same computer. What I'm really struggling with is giving up access to NPR's Virtual Private Network, the VPN,my morning commute through a portal of privilege into a network of people and information that have given enormous and exquisite meaning to my life.
Soon I'll just be a civilian.
Even as I write, a huge UPS package is winging its way back to DC full of recording equipment and microphones, a camera and an ISDN transceiver. I packed it all in a rage and drove it to the store in an altered state, knowing in my heart I could replace everything, that nothing could diminish my rapport with the tools of my trade.
But my anger's abated now and what was a state of strangeness is now SOP. It's just flat-out sadness and longing as I prepare to back-up the last of my NPR Inbox, box up the old Toughbook, and submit to circumstances that are about to leave me out in the cold.
Maybe it's pathetic. I won't argue. I mean WTF, who am I to complain? The cold is nothing if you've got a closet full of "clothes".
Posts
Lew
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On November 20 (1942) our regiment took up defensive positions at Point
Cruz west of the Matanikau (river)…A slow advance toward objective further
west is ...
5 days ago
Hi Ketzel,
ReplyDeleteOn your last day at NPR, I just posted something on my blog about your layoff as a sign of these misbegotten times. Will be watching as you ... soar! Best wishes,
George Pollock
I know Podcasting is "new media", and that you worked more "old media." However, I would be very interested to continue to hear your reports.
ReplyDeleteIn short, this doesn't have to be good-bye :) It can be a change in pace, a change in jobs, but .. it doesn't change who you are.
I really, really eagerly look forward to see what you have next. So keep us up to date :)
Kailla in Portland
ReplyDeleteThese are strange times indeed.
It seems obvious and maybe a little simple - but I am reminding myself that spring is coming. The days are getting longer. Soon, whatever heaviness we are each bearing will be made a little lighter by the balm of April and May in the Pacific Northwest.
Hmmm. I feel as I did when Bob Edwards disappeared from NPR. Kinda mad about that still...
ReplyDeleteI saw a "feel good" recession story on KATU Friday about Broadway Books in Portland and it made me think of your "Moxie" series. The owner's son, who lives in San Francisco and had previously felt untouched by the downturn, realized his mom's bookstore was verging on closing and posted a blog entry for a free burrito if you spent $50 or more on books before Christmas. The message swirled around on the internets and lo and behold! Hundreds of wonderful Portlanders showed their affection for her bookstore (or love of burritos) and she had the best Christmas season ever. I hope that on Friday when they celebrate with free burritos, ChaChaCha, the recipient of a major boost in their business will come up with a plan to pay it forward to another local business.
And some plant talk: Speaking of Spring, I forgot to mention that I spotted my first hellebores peaking up through the soil this weekend!
ReplyDeleteKetzel, I will truly miss hearing your voice regularly on the radio. I want to echo the request for a podcast - I would subscribe, even tho' I'm more of a blue thumb than green. (And that's what happens when the pen you're writing with disintegrates in your hand. Huh. P'raps I should get a new one.)
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best in your search for a new adventure, and I hope you'll be able to take some of your loyal listeners with you.
Ketzel,
ReplyDeletePodcasting won't pay the bills but you can sure use it to keep your voice out there... connecting you to sources of abundance.
Clark
I'll echo some others by saying that you're going to have to replace that stuff because you're going to need it for something.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Evelin - I, too, am having flashbacks to Bob Edwards' departure (and I, too, am still a little miffed about that one). I won't be real cranky and offer my own opinions on who or what could have gone instead, but I can say that I will surely keep a check on what you're up to, Ketzl, and subscribe or donate or otherwise pay whoever is running that show. NPR's loss had better be someone else's gain.
ReplyDeleteHi again K,
ReplyDeleteDon't know if you read my last comment, but once again, your plight has moved me to punch the talkback button and speak through the metaphoric glass in the patronizing way that only an audio guy can.
I was informed of my layoff from pubcasting while on a vacation/gig. I sprained my wrist on that gig and came back to the station for my debrief. They sat me down in the ProTools suite that took me four years to build by sneaking parts in under the wire and made me sign the paperwork on the desk I designed. It took them 48 hrs to start calling for tips on how to run the audio around the place and two weeks to call and ask for the passwords pretty please. It is hard to leave the comfort of the tools we know, but like all good girl scouts, we have left the place better then we found it. Know that in the freelance interim, only your tools bought and paid for by yourself will give that comfort. Each gig or technical contact will be new from now on. Thus here is my advice, and something I'm very glad I did myself.
Buy the best tools you can while the buying's good. You are a story teller and can survive with just words, but to pick up a freelance gig on the fly and survive with a profit margin, you have to have the tools of the medium.
As my friend, Glen Trew (trewaudio.com), legendary sound guy of HeeHaw (Hager twins RIP) has said, "I have never regretted buying the best I could afford when I needed it, but there have been many times that I regretted buying things based on low price, many of which made a loud thud when they entered the dumpster."
Replace the pieces that you trusted at the same or better level. They'll (NPR,BBC,PRI,PBS whoever) be calling you to do something, and you will have to file just like you did before, but as a civilian. The real value is your words and stories, but deadlines, standards, and practices will always be the indifferent wall to break through.
Keep marching forward! Compared to some of the things you have already done in the line of duty, civilian life will be pleasant. No more meetings, no more management, no more politics d'jour. Your friends will still be your friends back at NPR, even if they do treat you a little like an outsider. It's survivor's guilt. Have pity on them. At least you don't have to go in and pull WESUN duty reporter or the like.
Isn't nice that the dogs don't know?
Best,
Citizen Doug
Hi Ketzel,
ReplyDeleteI am a software tester in Wisconsin and NPR is my alarm clock every morning. I have never written a message to anyone from NPR, but I wanted to write to you. I couldn't believe it when they announced the staff cuts and that you were among them. I always enjoyed your stories very much; you were one of my favorite people to listen to. I am excited that they announced your blog on the radio so that I can read what you are up to. Please keep posting! I miss hearing your stories. I am so sorry for what happened but excited to see what you do next.
Awww Ketzel,
ReplyDeleteI shall miss hearing you on my occasional trips back to the San Francisco Bay Area....last heard you in September 2008...(salmon, it was). I remember the wrench of being "rightsized", "downsized" and "made redundant" when in the Biotech world there. I hope they didn't use these terms with you. Sleep, don't do too much re-arranging of your sock drawer unless it really needs it.
As something to look forward to; I have much extra room in my place in Belize. This is an invitation to perch here for a bit if you pass this way! Relax, take pictures, explore the local fauna, flora and people. There are pictures of shrubbery, birds, insects and a bit more on the website (yes, it's for sale but this is not a sales pitch!) at villamacal.com Now go do something fun with paint, plants or photos, eh?
This is a huge suprise to me, because they managed to do it to you during the one time I wasn't listening. Had to have surgery to deal with cancer in December. During my post operative drug induced haze, they snuck in and took you away from us.
ReplyDeleteBut I am also deeply happy to know you have your blog. You still have a voice. Your vibrant commentaries will still be part of our lives.
I for one, am grateful.
Warmest regards,
Victrinia Ensor