ECUADOR DOG SHOWS UP IN PANTS

Filipo likes to be close when the sun rises. We're not talking snuggling. We're talking, "You will feel my stare, you will hear me sigh, you will get up. GET UP!"

Since I'm training him for whoever his enviable human will be, I've set some boundaries with Filipo long crossed by my own wily beast, Zoe Mae. The big ticket item is the bed: Zoe's in it, Filipo's not. I'm leaving it to his human to make that call.

So Filipo's M.O. is this: He stands at the head of the bed, puts his chin on the edge of the mattress, and focuses. Hard. He is pure intention. Ignoring him is a bad idea if the purpose of ignoring him is to go back to sleep. It ain't gonna happen. Seconds after he starts in, Zoe Mae, with her big body and hairy head, inches up to my face eschewing all boundaries and just like that I'm double-teamed out of bed and herded into the kitchen. FEED ME.

It's all sadly predictable. But at least it's over quickly. Minutes later I'm back in bed for a half-hour nap. Then, when I'm ready for the world, I sit up as quietly as I can in the hopes of going undetected, hoping to slip into my clothes and tie my shoes unmolested.

But not this morning.

And that's how it happened. Filipo, who again likes to be close once I'm up for good, well, the cad snuck up behind me as I put my left leg into my Turkish salvar and shazam! squirmed up into the right leg, head first, showing up in my pants.

Salvars are really wide.